i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
It was confusing and full of hummus
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
