Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
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