Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
