My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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