Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
