Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
