i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
