I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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