Pappa wants mamma naked
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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