yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
