that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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