Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
