I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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