how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Can you repeat that, but with context?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
