I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
