oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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