i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Randomize
