It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
