so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
