pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
