Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
