ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
