I cockslap morals
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize