So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
