whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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