The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
