I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Randomize
