And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Can Purell be used as lube?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
