he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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