OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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