I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
