Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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