your room smells of hookers.
And success
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
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