I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
