She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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