recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
