so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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