At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
