I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
