She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
