there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
