I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
