I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
