I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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