Ambien. No doubt about it.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
