I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
