I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
