it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
