Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
