Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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