I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
