I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
